Tell me that is not the cutest fucking kitten you have ever seen (see above).

So the desert life is great. It's like I'm always at the beach, but I never have to worry about any of that stupid saltwater. I don't even have to worry about flushing a toilet! Here in Sahl Sinjar, we don't bother with any kind of plumbing, instead, we use bags for twosies, and piss tubes for onesies! It's great! .

...Seriously, though. It sucks here. Temperature is already rising, and somewhere in the 100s now. It's does a great number on a persons mind, and it brings out the real character in people. Tempers flair, and patience is short.

Why is it that the young pray for war, while the wiser, more seasoned person fight for peace? Is it something about maturity, or personal experience that tells us to be a civil, peaceful people?

Just some food for thought. Enjoy, hope it tastes scrumptuous.

-Brandon

This is the story of a guy who loves affection more than the one who's giving the affection. I mean it. I'm a real sucker for affection. So much so that I've ended up in some dead-end relationships with a girl, thought they were the real deal, found out I was wrong. Lesson learned, moved on.

It is around early July, 2006, during my first deployment. I had been with a great gal for almost a year. Amy. We had some history, a strange story of how we met, but I don't wanna bore the piss out of you. Frankly, it's so corny, it just makes me wanna lose my guts just telling it. Things were a little rocky, mostly because I screwed up bad some time long before I left. I cheated. I know, hate me if you will, but that was the first and last time I stick my hands in the cookie jar, so to speak. Well she let it go eventually, forgave me, and things are going swell at this point. So swell, in fact, I am planning on proposing to her right when I get off the plane coming home to the states. That's all I can think about, I even asked her parents for blessing, even though they sorta hated my guts, and (in the undying words of Skid Row) she's only seventeen. Of course, she was turning 18 in a week, so yea, I was older, but not that big a deal.

Sometime mid-July, he sends me a message via Myspace. "We need to talk", she says. Statements like that never mean anything good. I call her, she tells me about her plans for college when summer's over, and how she wants to stay single in college, but she still wants to be friends. I tell her to call me when she grows up, because I know she doesn't want to be single, she just wants something new, somebody not so far away. The very next day, I finally sign up for facebook, get on the bandwagon. There's a friend invite from her waiting for me. I check out her profile, she's currently "in a relationship with Ryan Byrd". "oh really?", I think to myself. I send her a message, asking if she was moving really fast, or if she was already dating him before we broke up. She tells me they weren't really dating, meaning they haven't gone on any dates or nothin, he lives in NC! An alarm goes off in my head. "Is he a Marine?" "yeah" "Well I sure as shit didn't introduce you to any of my friends, how do you know him?" "We used to date in high school..." "Oh, that makes me feel WAY better. You know what? I'm sorry I even asked. It's none of my my buisness. If you broke up with me because of physical proximity, let me give you a geography lesson: North Carolina is about 600 miles from Ohio." Boy, I can be real witty when I need to be. "We're moving in together in a couple of weeks." *click* I hang up. Just then, my stomach does this upside-down thing, and I feel like a squished bug.

Weeks go by, still not an angry, scorful message or letter from her. Out of the blue, she messages me, asking how I'm doing, like nothing ever happened, as if we were old buddyroos. "I'm doing great, now that my 5 roomies raided all your photos, used them for self-pleasuring, then helped me burn the teddy bear you sent me. How are you?" "Well I could do without the sarcasm. Listen, Ryan and I are getting married. We're having the ceremony this fall, and I would really like for you to be there, you should be home in time for it." "Not a snowball's chance in Hell, darlin'."

We're in late winter, early spring 2007 now. I've moved on, got back in the game, went on a few dates, but nothin serious. I am looking at old photos to reminisce over, and there they are, the pictures I forgot about. Like a big, sore thumb. I get to thinking, why don't I call her up, seeing how I never burn my bridges. Awful mistake. We go out for some sandwiches at subway, and all she wants to do is let. it. out. Tells me all about how miserable she is, how bad he treats her, all that crap. She's used to me being her crying shoulder, so she naturally assumes I'm gonna tell her it's gonna be ok, console her, and tell her I'd take her back. I felt bad, but I also felt righteous, as if I could say "I told you so." This time was different. I told her she brought it on herself, and if she hadn't been so immature and impatient she could've had it much better. By the end of the conversation, I was yelling. I had never even gone so far as to raise my voice to her before. I left the engagement ring I had bought last year on the table, and left. I felt terrible. Not for yelling, not for my overdramatic exit, but for not being the friend I promised her I'd be.

She filed for divorce one month later, but the suprising thing was that she had never told me about it. She moved back in with her parents in Ohio, got a job from daddy. Of course she would, the spoiled little brat. Yea, she's spoiled rotten, alright.

I must be crazy. I swear I am. I go up to Ohio to visit family and friends for Thanksgiving 2007. I wish I could say I ran into her by coincidence, but she lives an hour and a half away. I wish I could say a lot of things, but the truth is, I got back together with her. This lasts for a few months, in which nothing disproved that she's still immature, and she acts like we never were even broken up. Well she is ready for the rest of my life, I am not. So I break up with her now, break her little heart. boo-hoo. I got over it very fast. Not a day goes by I actually feel sorry.

It's summer 2009 now, and I feel free. I had some other flings in the meantime, but again, nothing too serious. Some married woman thought it would be a grand idea not to tell me she was married, until after the fact. Bummer. I was really starting to like the girl, too.

One question before I conclude this: Would it have been fair of me to start up a relationship knowing that I was leaving for at least a year?

Thanks for listening, I hope somebody benefits from this. I know I did.

With love, from Iraq,

-Brandon

Just in time for the Christmas season. I'm in arizona for two more days, and i just want to know who all reads my stuff. please let me know, so i can continue the fight, and add new friends, or just shut down my xanga. thanks all

-Brandon David Brown, the One and Only.